The Essential Guide to Asking Someone Out Over Text


Asking someone out can be stressful and many people turn to texting when doing so — it takes some of the stress away. We’ll discuss how to ask someone out over text the right way, and what things to keep in mind when you choose this course of action. Keep reading to get all the essential information on the topic.

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Is Asking Someone Out Over Text a Good Idea?

Even in the golden age of texting, asking someone on a date via text is still a little controversial, so before we go into detail, let’s see if it’s a good idea to ask over text (and why)!

The first thing to consider is whether this person is a fan of texting; do they use social media and is texting an everyday form of communication for them? If the answer is yes, you can start searching for the best way to ask a girl out over text or the most interesting way to ask a guy.

Asking over text doesn’t mean you like them any less; it’s simply a good way to take some of the tension off and protect yourself from in-person rejection. In short, if you believe that texting is a good way to connect with the person you want to ask out, go for it!

DID YOU KNOW? The average UK resident sends 50 texts per week — more than double the number of texts sent four years ago. Also, for the first time in history, people are sending more texts than they are making phone calls!

How to Ask Someone Out Over Text: The Essential Guide

Once you’ve decided to go for it and ask someone out through text, you’re probably wondering how to go about it. Rest easy, because we’re here to give you step-by-step instructions on how to go through the process, start to finish. Don’t miss out!

Get to Know Them

Before going on a date with someone, it’s best if you ease into it and get to know them a little first. When you don’t know anything about a person, you’ll likely have no ideas for a first date and it’ll be difficult to find a way to ask them out. So, how to ask a girl out over text (or a guy, for that matter) without rushing things? — Well, it’s best if you start out by asking them some questions about themselves; this can not only help you figure out what they like, but it could also show you whether or not the two of you are compatible.

Let Them Get to Know You

Getting to know someone should go both ways — if you want to get to know them, you should let them get to know you, too. Talk about yourself and share some fun facts; doing this will increase your chances of getting a ‘yes’. If they know something about you, they won’t feel like they’re agreeing to a date with a complete stranger.

Show Them You’re Interested

Asking a girl out over text is complicated enough as it is, but if the other person, a girl or a guy, is confused about how you feel about them and what are your intentions — things get even more complicated. So, while you’re texting, be clear and let them know you’re interested in them in a romantic way — tease them, ask about their love life, or do whatever you believe will make your interest clear. Once you’ve shown an interest in someone, they won’t be surprised when you ask them out!

Compliment Them

When looking for smooth ways to ask a girl out over text, you want to find a way that expresses your interest without making you seem overbearing. The best way to do this is by complimenting the person you’re talking to; make sure that your compliments are honest and witty, and it should go without saying that you shouldn’t be insulting in any way. Also, don’t go overboard — don’t bombard someone with compliments because it’ll feel insincere.

Give Them Room to Text You First

So far, you’ve always been the one to text first; you’ve shown a romantic interest, you’ve given them a few nice compliments, and the next thing you need to do is give the other person some space. Learning to date and how to ask a guy out over text is complicated, but remember that you need to give the other person time and let them be the one to reach out first — this holds true regardless of a person’s gender. By stepping aside for a while, you’ll give them a chance to miss you, and if they text, you’ll know they’re interested, too!

Be Polite

Whether you’re texting first or just replying to a text, remember to be polite. Nothing can turn a person away faster than rude or arrogant behaviour and don’t be fooled, people can notice this even through text. So, before you send the next text, choose your words wisely and be careful not to offend the person you’re interested in dating!

Be Careful When You Text

Knowing how to ask out a girl over text is important, but it’s also important to know when to text. Even though you can technically send a text at any time of the day or night, it’s best if you don’t do it too early in the morning or too late at night. If you’re texting them as soon as you wake up, it might make you seem too eager, even desperate; on the other hand, if you’re texting them in the small hours, they may get the impression that it’s just a booty call and choose to ignore it. Text them when they’re free, but don’t overthink it — any time of day will do!

Have a Date in Mind

Before you dive too deep into how to ask a girl on a date over text, or how to finally ask out that guy you’ve been eyeing, you need to have a specific date idea. Based on what you know about them, think of a date they’ll enjoy, and more importantly, that they can’t say no to. It can be something simple, like go grab a coffee together (if they like coffee, of course), or you can plan a more elaborate date — it really depends on the person you’re asking out and what they like.

Don’t Wait Too Long

You’ve been texting back and forth for a while now and you still can’t seem to gather the courage to finally ask them out. The best advice we can give you — don’t wait too long.

Knowing how to ask a girl out via text (or a boy) is different than asking someone out in person; over text, you can drag out the process for as long as you like, but this is not advisable; the other person may get bored or tired of waiting for you to ask them out and stop texting you altogether. You don’t want this to happen, so seize the moment!

Go for the Ask

Once you’ve gone through the initial phase of getting to know each other and you’ve exchanged some compliments, it’s time to ask them out. When wondering how to ask someone on a date over text, propose an exact time and place for the date; you want to make it clear that you’re asking them on a date not just suggesting to meet sometime. And if you give a clear-cut offer, they’ll have to give you a straightforward answer. One more thing to remember when inviting someone out over text — use full words and don’t rely on emojis to do the talking for you!

Give Them Time to Respond

Feeling nervous while waiting for a reply is completely normal, but you need to be patient and give the other person time to respond. Don’t panic if you don’t get a reply within 5 minutes; remember, even if you’ve used one of the funny ways to ask a girl out over text, you’re not yet a couple and it’s perfectly normal for them to take some time and think about what to do. Be confident, but don’t be overwhelming. It’s not a good idea to keep texting them until you force a response. All in good time.

Be Ready for Any Answer

You went through with the tough part — you asked your crush out, and now all you can do is wait. However, you need to be prepared for any answer. In case you get a ‘no’, remain respectful and remove yourself from the situation; at least now you know how to ask a boy out over text and how to invite a girl out without being pushy.

But if you get a ‘yes’, you can start planning the date (if you’re still undecided, there are plenty of great ideas for London dates) and thinking of romantic gestures you can do for her on the first date.

DID YOU KNOW? When women are interested in their date, they display some tell-tale signs, such as laughing at their date’s jokes, because they think their date is funny, playing with their hair or a nearby object; they can also blush or stumble over words.

How to Know When to Stop Texting

You’ve learned how to ask someone out over text in a funny or a cute way, but sadly, that doesn’t guarantee that you’ll get a positive response. You need to learn how to handle rejection and know when’s the right time to stop texting someone and stop asking them out; they’re not your boyfriend or girlfriend and they don’t owe you anything.

If you ask someone out and get an outright ‘no’, you should thank them for their reply and end the text exchange there. Don’t follow up with any more texts or find excuses to reach out again; you were given a straight answer and it’s time to move on.

What to Do When ‘Ghosted’

Asking someone out over text can also end in ghosting. You may ask someone out and never get a reply; although this is very hurtful, if this happens to you, don’t keep texting the ‘ghoster’. You can follow up with just one text just to check if the first somehow got lost among the DMs; if you don’t get a reply then either, give up and never text that person again. Sometimes silence speaks louder than words.

DID YOU KNOW? The written word has been used to express emotions in different forms; although texting is currently the most popular way to send a written note, writing a love letter or attaching a handwritten note to a bouquet of flowers are great ways to ask a girl to be your girlfriend.


Knowing how to ask someone on a date over text is very useful in a world dominated by technology. Lucky for you, we’ve compiled a 12-step guide containing all the essentials for asking someone out via a text message. Hopefully, this guide will help you successfully invite someone for a long-awaited date. We wish you the best of luck in your romantic pursuits!


Is it OK to ask someone out over text?

It’s completely okay to ask someone to go out with you through text, that is, if the person you’re asking out is comfortable communicating through text and texting is a part of their everyday routine.

How do I ask out my crush in a text?

You can start by asking questions and getting to know your crush; once you know what they like, you can ask them to go on a date partaking in a favourite pastime. It’s hard to say no when someone invites you to one of your favourite activities.

How do you casually ask someone out?

When thinking about how to ask someone out over text in a casual way, you can try inviting them to a social gathering, like a concert; there’ll certainly be a crowd and you’ll avoid the pressure of a more private setting.


I've loved writing since I can remember, and back in high school, I started loving psychology as well. So I majored in it while dabbling in spirituality and yoga on the side.

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