The Art of Asking Someone Out: 12 Steps to Success

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Asking someone on a date can be a nerve-wracking experience, but don’t worry — feeling nervous is completely normal. The purpose of this article is to help you overcome your anxiety when it comes to inviting someone on a first date.

So, if you too are wondering how to ask someone out, you’re in the right place; we will guide you through the process step-by-step, so read carefully. And don’t forget — no skipping steps!

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When’s a Good Time for Asking Someone Out?

Before we dive deeper into the topic, we decided to answer one of the most frequently asked questions: When’s the right time to ask someone out? Well, to tell you the truth, there’s no such thing as the perfect time or opportunity to finally ask out the person you like.

However, before you go ahead and propose a date, make sure that you’re on a first-name basis with this person; and if you’re sure that you like them and you want to get to know them better, that’s your cue.

There’s no need to wait a certain amount of time before you put the offer on the table, so once you know there’s no right ‘when’, learn how to ask your crush out! Sometimes, you know right away you want to see someone in a romantic sense, and you’ll need to seize the moment — we’re here to teach you how!

DID YOU KNOW? Studies on speed dating have shown that it only takes 3 seconds to determine whether you find a person attractive or not. First impressions matter, after all!

How to Ask Someone Out: 12 Steps for Asking Someone on a Date

We all know that dating is stressful, but asking someone on a first date is possibly the most complicated part of the dating process. To help you make the first move, we created this step-by-step guide; everything that you need to know about inviting someone on a date is just a scroll away — keep scrolling!

Make Sure You Want It

Before you take any action, be sure that you really like this person and that going on a date with them is what you want. So, before you start looking for the best way to ask a girl out (or a boy), make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons — don’t ask somebody out because you’re lonely, bored, or just because you’re the only single one in your friend group.

Check If They Are Available

Another important thing to consider before you actually ask the question is to see if they’re available, i.e. not already in a relationship or seeing someone else. It’s also possible that they’re not committed to anyone, but they’re just not dating at the moment, or simply, they’re not showing any interest. There are plenty of signs that indicate he doesn’t want a relationship or little hints that she’s just not that into you.

Find Out What They Like

When thinking about how to ask a girl out on a date (or a guy, for that matter), keep in mind that one of the best things you can do is to find out what they like — what are their interests, hobbies, likes, and dislikes. Once you obtain this information, starting a conversation will be easier, but it will also help you make plans for the date. For example, if you already know that they enjoy the theatre, you can invite them to a show and rest assured knowing you’ve chosen an activity they’ll enjoy; plus this can also be seen as a romantic gesture, so that’s bonus points for you!

Plan the Date

All the great ways to ask someone out involve planning. Before you go ahead and ask the question, you need to plan the date, i.e. when and where you want to take them. If you give them a clear proposal, they’ll know that you’re asking them on a date, and not just a friendly meetup. When you have a plan in place, you can start thinking of approaching them; and if you’re low on date ideas, don’t fret — you can choose one of the amazing ideas for London dates.

Be Confident

Confidence is essential in all aspects of life, and dating is no exception. So, when you’re pondering over how to ask someone on a date, remember that you need to be confident when you approach them. We know it sounds easier said than done, but you need to work on your confidence before asking someone and going on a date — confidence can take you a long way. If you’re confident, you automatically seem more attractive, and that’s what we all want, isn’t it?

Dress to Impress

You’ve probably heard the saying ‘clothes make the man’ and when it comes to dating, this isn’t far from the truth. The best way to ask a girl out is by looking nice and tidy — women are especially observant of appearances, so dress nicely when you approach her. Men also pay attention to physical appearance, so regardless of whether you’re asking out a man or a woman, look nice — wear nice, clean clothes, and make sure you smell nice and don’t have bad breath!

Strike Up a Conversation

Once you’ve gone through all these steps, it’s time to approach the person you’ve got your eye on. When you approach them, don’t just blurt out the question; the most important step of asking someone out is striking up a conversation. When you start the conversation, it’s best to stick to casual, yet personal topics; you can ask them something about themselves and listen carefully — this will show that you’re genuinely interested. And whatever you do, don’t be fake — people can tell when you’re pretending, so stay true to yourself! If they don’t like you as you are, it’s their loss!

Tell Them How You Feel

All the best ways to ask a girl out include expressing your emotions. When you want to ask somebody out, a guy or a girl, it’s best to tell them how you feel right away; learning to date also involves learning how to express your feelings. Tell them you like them; don’t profess your love or ask them to be your boyfriend or girlfriend right away — this can scare people off. Saying you like them and that you want to get to know them better is enough; asking a girl to be your girlfriend is a completely different process. And although there’s no one best way to ask someone out, if you express your emotions, they’ll already expect you to ask them out.

Compliment Them

Everybody loves a good compliment; compliments make people feel better about themselves and boost their confidence. That’s why it’s a good idea to compliment the person you’re courting right before you ask them out; they will associate feeling good with you, and they’ll be keener to accept the invitation if they’re in a good mood. Remember — the compliment needs to be honest and genuine; you don’t want them to suspect you’re making things up just to get close to them. If you’re stuck on how to ask your crush out, find something you really like about them and compliment them on it!

Stay On Point

Once you’ve gotten this far, don’t divert the conversation to other things; you don’t want to give them the impression that you’re into them, and then start talking about something completely unrelated. On an important note — avoid generic topics (the weather, global political events) and steer clear of sensitive topics (past relationships, trauma).

If you want to know how to ask someone out without getting rejected, remember that you need to stay on point during the conversation; be serious and don’t start joking. Using too much humour can turn people away in these situations.

Go For It

The only thing left to do is ask; don’t overthink it, just ask the question. For example, ‘Will you go out for drinks with me on Friday?’ or something along those lines. Always ask a straightforward question, so you leave no room for doubt as to what’s happening. And don’t forget to propose an exact date and location; if you do so, you’ll certainly get a definitive answer and not a ‘We’ll see’.

Invite Them on a Group Date

Many people wonder, how to ask someone out without actually saying it? Well, there’s a way to do that as well — you can always invite them on a group date. You can ask them to join you and your friends for a night out; this takes some of the first date pressure off — you’ll never run out of things to talk about. Plus, you’ll get to see how they interact with your friends — important if you’re a couple. And if you’re too nervous to do this in person, you can always ask them out over text!

DID YOU KNOW? The colour red makes people seem more attractive; wearing red means both men and women will be more attracted to you. Men usually associate red with sex, while women associate it with power and status.

Handling Rejection

Now you know how to ask someone out in 2022, but you should also keep in mind that there’s always the possibility of rejection. Of course, they may say ‘yes’ but they can also say ‘no’ — you need to be prepared for either answer. You need to learn how to handle rejection and walk away with your head held high.

If they say no, respect their answer and don’t push it any further — you don’t want to pressure or guilt someone into going on a date. It’s natural to be a little disappointed, but you need to come to terms with the situation and move on. Remember, being rejected is not the end of the world; you’ve put yourself out there, and that’s what’s important. Plus, now you know how to ask someone out in person, so the next time someone comes along, you can jump at the opportunity.

DID YOU KNOW? The optimal time to call someone after meeting them is two to four days after the initial meeting, and no longer than five days. Also, you shouldn’t call more than twice; if someone doesn’t return your second call, they’re not interested.

Conclusion

After reading through our step-by-step guide, you should be encouraged to make the first move and finally ask out that person you’ve been eyeing. In this article, you’re given all the answers to ‘How do you ask someone out?’, so the only thing left to do is to gather the courage and go for it!

FAQ

What is a cute way to ask someone out?

There are plenty of cute ways to ask someone on a date — you can hand them a handwritten note, buy them flowers or sweets, or if you’re doing it online, you can always rely on a cute GIF.

What do you say to ask someone out?

Before you ask somebody out, start a casual conversation and tell them that you like them. When you get to the asking part, make the question straightforward and propose an exact time and location for your date.

How do I ask a girl out successfully?

How to ask someone out successfully, you ask? Well, first make sure that the girl in question is not in a relationship and is open to dating. Then, learn more about her, choose one of her interests, plan a date around it, and make her an offer she can’t refuse.

ABOUT AUTHOR

I've loved writing since I can remember, and back in high school, I started loving psychology as well. So I majored in it while dabbling in spirituality and yoga on the side.

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