Does He Want a Relationship or Is He Wasting Your Time? [22 Signs]

Romantic relationships are complicated and become even more so when one is looking for a long-term commitment but the other is not so serious. If you find yourself in a situation where your man seems to hesitate to commit and label the relationship, perhaps these are signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. Our guide addresses these signs and what to do upon recognising them.

Why Doesn’t He Want a Relationship?

Before diving into the tell-tale signs that a man doesn’t want a relationship, consider some of the following reasons why he would keep seeing you but refuse to commit.

• He only wants fun: Relationships come with responsibilities, and men sometimes shy away from these; they only want to keep the fun part of the relationship.
• He’s only in it for sex: If you think, ‘he likes me but doesn’t want a relationship’, it may be because he’s interested only in the physical aspect of your relationship.
• He just got out of a relationship: If a man has just ended a relationship, it’s unlikely that he’ll be looking for a new commitment soon afterwards.
• He has commitment issues: Commitment issues are common among many, which might be why your man is unwilling to start a relationship.

These are just the most common reasons why someone would run from relationships. But each person is different and may have their unique reasons for avoiding relationships.

22 Signs He Doesn’t Want a Relationship with You

Are you unsure if your man wants to be in a relationship? The signs listed below can help you determine if he wants a relationship with you or not. If you notice some of these revealing signs, it’s safe to say that your man isn’t ‘ready to go steady’.

He’s Distracted

You may notice that the guy you’re seeing is distracted whenever you spend time together. If he’s not paying attention to you, not listening to what you have to say, or is constantly on his phone, these are the most striking signs he doesn’t want you and you’re not so important to him

He’s Emotionally Unavailable

When men seem closed off and don’t share their emotional needs, they’ve put up a wall and become emotionally unavailable. When you’re emotionally closed, you can’t develop a strong bond and be a couple.

He Disappears

If your guy puts on a disappearing act—one moment he’s there, the next he’s gone—you need to ask yourself: Is he serious about me? If this occurs regularly, he’s probably not serious about you or the relationship. And not returning texts and phone calls for a few days is not a good sign. You then should reconsider what’s happening between you two.

He Refuses to Define the Relationship

Some men say they don’t want to put labels on the relationship. One of the signs he doesn’t want to get attached is avoiding calling himself your boyfriend or objecting when people call you his girlfriend. If you start the conversation about you both as a couple, and he resolutely refuses to define the relationship, take this as a red flag.

He’s Unreliable

When you feel that you can’t rely on the person next to you, he’s not a committed partner. If you think you can’t ask for his help, or he’s not there for you when you need him, it’s evident that you’re not his priority. It might be a good time to see where things are going (or not going).

He Doesn’t Make Plans

Does he want a relationship with you? This question can be answered by determining if he’s making plans for a future together. If he doesn’t suggest activities you could do together, events to attend, and places to visit, he probably sees no future together and doesn’t have serious intentions toward you.

He’s Unwilling to Know You

When a man is genuinely interested in you, he’ll want to know who you are. He’ll be interested in all aspects of your personality, asking questions and eager to hear your opinion. If his behaviour doesn’t match this description, he’s not interested in becoming more than just a hookup.

He Doesn’t Introduce You to Friends and Family

One of the most obvious signs he doesn’t want a relationship is avoiding introductions of his family and friends. If you were important to him, and he envisions a future for you as a couple, he would want to introduce you to those closest to him. But if he shows no such intentions, he’s not planning on being with you for that long. He also may refuse to meet your family and friends, with the excuse that he wants to ‘take things slow’—yet another ominous sign for the relationship.

He Wants to Meet Late at Night Only

‘He doesn’t want a relationship, but he likes me’ is a sentiment that can leave a confusing and misleading impression. He likes you, but he may only like you in a physical sense; he’s only there for the intimate moments you share. If he only calls you or schedules dates late at night, he probably wants only sex

He’s Interested in Other Women

A man still interested in other women while you’re dating has decided that you’re not the one, and he’s pursuing other options. So if you’ve been casually dating for a while, look for signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you anymore, such as he still talks to other women, his dating profile is still up, and he flirts with other girls when you’re out together. If you notice any of these signs, you can be sure he doesn’t want to get serious with you.

He Has No Time for You

When you’re important to someone, they’ll find time for you, regardless of how busy their life is. If a guy is into you, he’ll want to spend as much time with you as possible, but if he’s not engaged, he’ll constantly have an excuse for why he can’t spend more time with you.

He Doesn’t Take You Out on Dates

Sometimes you may wonder how to make him want a relationship since he seems unwilling to commit as a couple. But if he doesn’t take you out on dates, your chances for a relationship are slim. When men are interested in something more than a fling, they want to show off by taking you out on dates in public. If this is not the case with your partner, accept that the two of you are not on the same page.

He Doesn’t Start the Conversation

It may have crossed your mind that you’re always the one to text first and get the conversation going. Even when you’re together, he’s not very talkative, and, once again, it’s up to you to come up with topics for conversation. Unfortunately, this is one of the signs he doesn’t want to get attached and only wishes to spend time with you in the bedroom.

He Doesn’t Apologise

We all make mistakes in relationships and hurt our significant other, but what matters is how we deal with these mistakes. If we’re genuinely sorry and apologise for our wrongdoings, we deserve to be forgiven. But when a man hurts you and doesn’t bother to apologise, it’s a sign that he’s not romantically attached and doesn’t care about hurting your feelings.

He Doesn’t Care About Your Problems

When a man is willing to listen to your problems and wants to help you find solutions, you can be sure that he’s there for the long run. Does he want a relationship? Does he care about your problems and want to help you overcome them? If the answer is no, then he doesn’t want anything serious.

He Doesn’t Want to Take or Post Photos

Not everyone is an avid social media user, and not every man wants to post photos of his private life constantly. But if he doesn’t want to post a single image of the two of you together or refuses to even take a picture with you, these are signs he doesn’t want you in his life.

He Doesn’t Display Affection

Affection can be expressed in many ways, but most people display physical affection with gentle touches, hugs, and kisses, or verbally express it with such terms of endearment as ‘I love you’. If the guy you’re seeing does neither and never surprises you with romantic gestures, he doesn’t see you as a long-term romantic prospect.

He’s Not Jealous

Jealousy is a toxic emotion, but it can also indicate how much someone likes you. When a man has strong feelings for you and sees a future together, he’s bound to be jealous from time to time. But if he doesn’t want a relationship, he’ll never be jealous because his feelings for you aren’t strong enough.

He’s Secretive

Relationships are all about honesty and transparency. If you feel that the guy you’re dating is secretive, you might be correct—he probably has something to hide. If you notice that he’s not sharing everything with you or discern vagueness in his statements, he’s not planning on making you his girlfriend.

He Forgets Important Dates and Events

If someone is important to you, you’ll try to remember the things that are important to them. When you’re conflicted and asking yourself, ‘Is he serious about me?’, try to notice if he remembers important dates (birthdays, anniversaries, holidays) or forgets plans you’ve made together. If he doesn’t remember, he’s not very serious about you.

He Cancels Plans or Is Frequently Late

Cancelling at the last minute or being late and keeping someone waiting are signs of disrespect. If your guy is doing these things, he doesn’t have enough respect for you; hence, he’s not very invested in the relationship.

He’s Still Hung up on a Past Relationship

One of the reasons you may believe that ‘he likes me but doesn’t want a relationship’ is that he’s still hung up on his ex. He may even experience feelings of love towards you but still love his ex—it’s possible, after all, to love two people at the same time. If you find yourself involved with this type of man, keep in mind that he probably won’t be ready for a relationship any time soon.

What Should You Do If He Doesn’t Want a Relationship?

Once you’ve ensured that the man you’re involved with doesn’t want a relationship, you’ll probably be conflicted about what to do.

First and foremost, you need to communicate your feelings. Although it may be challenging to have this conversation, you need to tell him how you feel and that you’re looking for a relationship—then wait for his reaction. If he forthrightly says he doesn’t want to be tied down, you can move on, knowing you did everything possible.

You don’t want to force anyone into an unwanted commitment, thereby risk being cheated on later. When a man feels cornered, he’ll start showing signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you anymore and may cheat on you even though he loves you.

How Do You Move On?

When you’ve been rejected by someone you care about, you can begin experiencing disappointment and low self-esteem. Remember, however, that none of this was your fault. You took a chance, and it didn’t work out. It doesn’t mean that you’re unlovable or not worthy of someone’s full attention and commitment.

Keep living your life, and don’t try to work out how to make him want a relationship. Be open to accepting new love when it comes your way, and take this as a lesson on how to be a great girlfriend when the right person comes along.

Conclusion

When in doubt about what a man wants, observe his behaviour and look for signs pointing one way or the other. Our guide has listed all the key signs he doesn’t want a relationship. If you notice them in your partner, you’ll know that he’s not interested in a long-term relationship, and you can move on to new romantic prospects.