Last Updated: October 7, 2022
Romantic love can be one of the most complicated emotions we experience. When considering love, we typically imagine two people committed to each other, and the love they share is mutual. But what happens when one of them begins loving someone else? Can you love two people at the same time?
What Is Love?
When you think you have a new romantic interest, you develop feelings for them. But how do you know if it’s love and not just lust or a temporary infatuation? First, we must differentiate between love and lust before proclaiming our love for two people.
When you love someone, you’re aware of their good and bad qualities, and you still feel love for them. If you love someone for who they are, you want to spend time with them, envision a future together, and care for their happiness.
How to Be Sure What You’re Feeling Is Love
Is it possible to love two people? And how do you make sure that you’re actually in love? Remember, genuine love stands the test of time. If you have a crush on someone, it’ll pass in a few weeks or months, but if you have genuine feelings for someone, you can’t get rid of them quickly. If you understand that your feelings linger and are not losing their intensity, it’s safe to say that it’s not simply a crush.
|DID YOU KNOW? When people are in love, they have trouble focusing on everyday tasks. They spend their time daydreaming—everything reminds them of their loved one, making it difficult to concentrate on other things.|
Can You Love Two People at the Same Time?
Love is a subjective feeling. People have different ideas about what love is and how it should be expressed. For example, monogamy doesn’t equal love for many.
Loving two people simultaneously can be confusing. Emotions get muddled, priorities shift, and boundaries move. This situation is complicated if you’re in a monogamous relationship and still love your partner, even though you’ve fallen for someone new.
If you’re in an open relationship, the concept of polygamy is not something new. But loving another person can be a problem if you’ve agreed to only have casual flings outside the relationship.
Some people practice polyamory—a non-monogamous relationship that involves multiple romantic relationships, not causal ones. This kind of relationship typically follows agreed-upon guidelines for loving two people at the same time. If you think you want a polyamorous relationship, you need to discuss it with your partner and agree to new boundaries for your relationship.
Why Another Significant Other?
Genuine love doesn’t happen overnight. Falling in love is a process. It takes time to get to know the other person and become intimate. So how do you fall in love with two people?
It’s possible to fall in love with two people who bring out two different sides of you. One person may inspire you to be better and more confident, while the other can make you feel safe and accepted. You can connect with one person on a deeper, more spiritual level but have a more down-to-earth connection with the second person.
Is it possible to be in love with two people when you’ve been in a relationship with one for quite some time? It’s not only possible, but it’s also likely—especially if you feel too comfortable around your significant other and begin to feel bored, possibly leading to cheating.
You may also think that your partner is emotionally distant or avoids physical intimacy, which may compel you to seek love elsewhere. No one perfect person can satisfy all our needs and desires, which is why people choose to love more than one person.
When Do You Know You’re in Love With 2 People?
In most cases, people are already with one person when they fall in love with another, typically over time. It may begin as a crush, but before you know it, you have feelings for that new person.
If you find your mind wandering back and forth between the two—constantly thinking of both and wanting to give them equal amounts of love and attention—then you most likely love both of them. And if you find yourself putting their happiness and wellbeing first, you can be sure that it’s love.
But if you feel tempted to have an affair—physical or emotional—it’s time to first admit to yourself then to your significant other: ‘I love two people’.
|DID YOU KNOW? Statistics on cheating reveal that 36% of the UK adult population has cheated on their partner. And only 16% of relationships and marriages succeed after an affair has been disclosed. So if you want to stay with your partner, don’t cheat.|
|Love is different from lust. Loving someone means you accept them for who they are and want them to be happy.|
|It’s possible to love two people at the same time. Monogamy doesn’t always mean love for some.|
|People fall in love with another person because they’re not getting everything they need from their current partner.|
|When you love two people, you should choose between the two or agree to have an open relationship.|
Can You Be in Love With Two People?
It is possible to love two people and be romantically involved with both. But not everyone can do so. Some are incapable of loving more than one person at once, while others feel comfortable loving and dating two people simultaneously. The latter can invest themselves more deeply into their romantic relationships, believing that neither of their loved ones will suffer or feel neglected.
Loving two people at once means that you have intense feelings for both—in addition to passionately desiring them. But such relationships can become nerve-wracking—on top of the pressure that society typically condemns it. But you shouldn’t concern yourself with what society thinks of your love life. Don’t judge yourself too harshly, and don’t be ashamed of your feelings.
|DID YOU KNOW? The butterflies you feel in your stomach when you’re in love are caused by adrenaline. According to love facts, adrenaline builds up in your body when you’re in love and manifests as the fluttering of butterflies.|
What to Do When You Love Two
What do you do if you love two people at the same time? After you’ve admitted to yourself that you love two people, you can begin thinking about possible solutions.
- First, remember that two other people are involved in this situation; the last thing you want to do is hurt them. If you genuinely love them, you’ll want them to be happy, even if it means you’ll no longer be part of their lives.
- Secondly, evaluate your feelings and understand if you have a hidden preference and be prepared to choose one lover over another.
When in Love With Two People How to Choose Just One
If you feel forced to choose between the two you love, don’t make any rash decisions that you may later regret. Think first about your current partner and how the situation will affect them. Each relationship has its share of problems. Reflect on the relationship, identify your problems, and decide if you wish to keep overcoming obstacles or sever your attachment and move on.
Loving 2 people requires a lot of soul-searching. Consider the following essential questions.
- Which person do you think would be a more suitable partner in the long term?
- Do they have the same values as you?
- Do they want the same things out of life?
- How do they influence you?
- How do you feel about being with just that one person?
Once you find the answers to these questions, it may be easier for you to choose one of the two. But keep in mind the person that you’d be leaving behind.
Can You Love Two People at Once and Not Choose?
In such situations, keep in mind that not everything is about you. You need to consider the wants and needs of others involved. If you feel incapable of choosing, it’s best if you detach yourself from both you love—at least for a while.
But if you trust your current partner and feel comfortable discussing these things with them, you should do so. You might be surprised by their reaction and insight.
Time for an Open Relationship?
When you think you’re in love with two people, you need to consider if you and the other two would be open to a non-monogamous relationship, especially your current partner. If your partner is on board, you can feel free to continue to talk about it more.
But before you reach any decision, make sure that you can be a good girlfriend or boyfriend to both of them. It’s unfair to be with two people simultaneously and not give them their deserved attention. And you must be comfortable with their freedom to see other people, too.
Can You Be in Love With 2 People and Make It Work?
Once you make sure all parties agree to a polyamorous arrangement, you need to have a serious conversation with your significant other about what an open relationship means for you both.
Be sure that your partner is 100% on board. Give them (and yourself) time and space to consider if this is what they want. You don’t want to find yourself in a situation where you’d be blamed for the way things are working out after the initial excitement wanes.
How Long Can You Stay in an Open Relationship?
Being in love with 2 people comes with a certain level of ambivalence. So it’s always a good idea to discuss how long you want to keep the arrangement as it is or how to end it on a friendly note if someone changes their mind. And remember, as long as everyone is happy, stay in the relationship.
|DID YOU KNOW? Facts on marriage reveal that before the 9th century, it was a common practice to have multiple partners. Monogamous marriages were then established in the Western world when the Catholic church established monogamy and forbade cheating.|
Can you love two people at the same time? Our guide has aimed to provide an answer for you. We all know that love can be complicated. Some can love more than one person simultaneously, while others are not cut out for this kind of relationship. It’s essential, however, to understand what type of lover you are and what works for you and your partner.