The Ultimate Guide to Talking to Girls [In-Person & Online]

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The thought of talking to a girl whom you like is scary to some guys, but it shouldn’t be because it’s a social skill you can develop. Our guide on how to talk to girls will help you with what to say—and what not to say—so that you can be talking to that special girl in no time.

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Talking to Girls Shouldn’t Be Scary

Some guys are afraid to talk to a girl for fear of rejection or lack confidence to approach the girl they’re attracted to. On the other hand, many have overcome their fears and began talking to a girl—or even a few. Nonetheless, there’s nothing to be scared of—girls are, after all, just people.

How to Stop Being Scared of Talking to a Girl

A good piece of advice on how to talk to a girl entails taking baby steps by generating small talk with the girls around you, including your friends and coworkers. Then, remember that the girl you like is just like them, and you’ll feel more confident or, even better, get out of the friendzone once and for all.

Another great tip for getting over your fear is to focus on the girl instead of yourself. Once you begin thinking about her and how she feels, you’ll forget your anxiety and the conversation will flow. You’ll then just need to think about what to say to a girl before you approach her rather than your own feelings.

And one more thing to remember: be yourself. No one likes a pretender. And it’s okay if you seem a bit nervous—some girls even find that to be cute.

DID YOU KNOW? Facing your fears is better than avoiding them. If you slowly face your fears, you’ll eventually overcome that which once petrified you. The only way out is through—so get through it.

How to Talk to Girls: 15 Life-Changing Tips

We’ve given you a bit of advice on overcoming your general fear of talking to girls, but perhaps you’re at a point when you need to speak to your crush effectually. The following 15 tips will help you face your fears and enable you to open up.

Introduce Yourself

The first step is to introduce yourself. Walk up to her and say ‘Hi. My name is…’. We’re all taught not to talk to strangers, so you can see why a girl won’t talk to you if she doesn’t even know your name. Remember, introductions always come first.

Ask Questions

One essential tip on how to talk to women is to ask questions. Asking questions is an excellent way to start a conversation because she typically feels the need to answer. You can start with a simple open-ended question. For example, you can ask how her day has been going or about some aspect of her life (work, school, hobbies). Then, you can follow up with another question.

Listen Carefully

Don’t only focus on the asking part. You also need to listen. Like everyone, women like to be heard. So make sure you listen carefully to what she’s saying and remember her words so you can bring them up in conversation later—showing your effort in getting to know her.

Make Eye Contact

When thinking about how to talk to a girl you like, don’t forget your eyes; they never lie. Be sure to make eye contact, but don’t stare her down—this will creep her out. Look directly into her eyes and maintain eye contact for a few seconds, just enough for her to see that you’re invested in the conversation.

Give Her a Compliment

Give her a sincere compliment. Choose something you genuinely like about her and compliment her on it—her smile, hair, voice. And if you’re still unsure what to say to a girl you like, keep in mind that you can say almost anything, as long as it’s respectful. Complimenting her on the size of her rack, for example, is then out of the question.

Make a Joke

Everyone likes to laugh. And making a joke is a great way to lighten the mood. Just make sure that it’s a funny, non-offensive joke, and you’re likely to get a genuine laugh out of her. She’ll see that you’re a friendly guy and start to enjoy your company.

Flirt

Once you’ve started communicating with a joke or two, it’s time to up your game and start lightly flirting. When learning how to speak to girls, keep in mind that she needs to be comfortable with whatever you’re saying. So don’t come off too strong at first. You can begin by asking if she’s seeing anyone and see how she reacts.

Use a Pick-Up Line

Pick-up lines are questionable when approaching a girl, but they can go a long way if used properly. Most girls think that pick-up lines are cheesy, but you can acknowledge that and use your banter jokingly—enough for her to know you want to be more than friends.

Mention Your Interests

When considering how to have a conversation with a girl, remember that no one likes a one-sided conversation. If you keep asking her questions, she’ll feel like she’s being interrogated or under investigation. And if you talk about yourself the whole time, she’ll think you’re self-centred. It’s best to find a middle ground. After you’ve asked her about her interests, mention some of yours and try to find something in common.

Be Honest

The best advice on how to speak to women is to follow the proverb: ‘Honesty is the best policy’. Do not lie. Whatever you say, tell the truth because 1) you want her to like you for who you are and 2) if something happens between the two of you in the future, she’ll eventually find out the truth.

Don’t Try Too Hard

Girls can tell when you’re trying too hard. The last thing you want is to come off as desperate. Take on a casual approach and steer clear of serious topics. After all, you’re just getting to know each other. And you certainly don’t want her to think that you’re just trying to hook up. Playing the long game pays off in the end.

Pay Attention to Body Language

In considering how to talk to someone you like, it’s essential to point out that talking is not the only thing you should be focused on. Body language is a vital part of your behaviour. So make sure that you smile and don’t have your arms crossed while the girl is talking to you—which would show that you’re not open to the conversation or her.

Stay Confident

Even if the conversation isn’t going as you planned, staying confident and going with the flow is critical. If you’re insecure, your words will start to fumble, and you’ll leave a bad impression. Whatever happens, keep your head high and carry on.

Avoid Long Conversations

Many guys want to know how to chat with a girl without being boring. Try not to keep the conversation going at all costs. Get the girl to engage in the conversation and then see the need to cut it short. And if all goes well, you’ll have another opportunity to talk again soon.

Get Her Contact Information

The best way to end the conversation is by asking for her phone number or how to find her on social media. Afterwards, you could then focus on how to talk to girls on text messaging platforms or how to slide into her DMs.

DID YOU KNOW? If you have trouble meeting girls in person, dating apps are a great place to meet someone new. Tinder is a top-rated app for posting a few cute photos, and you could write a good bio so that girls could start reaching out to you.

Key Takeaways

Talking to a girl is not scary—start talking to your female friends and work your way up to the girl you fancy.
Every good conversation begins with an introduction. First, introduce yourself, then think about the next steps.
You can talk to girls via text—a ‘good morning’ text is a great way to start.
Culture, hobbies, goals, and experiences are excellent topics of conversation.

How to Talk to a Girl Over Text

We’ve covered the bases of in-person communication. Now we move on to the world of texting. Sending a text is no big deal, but it can seem scary when it comes to the girl you like.

One of the best ways to reach out to a girl is by sending her a ‘good morning’ text. You can say that you were thinking about her and hope she has a great day, which should get a smile out of her and a quick reply. But if you don’t have her number or if texting seems too uncomfortable, seek her out on social media and get the conversation going from there.

How to Talk to Girls on Instagram

Instagram is one of the best platforms for starting a conversation. The easiest way to do it is by responding to a story the girl has posted. And if you’re feeling confident, you could send her a photo of what you’re doing or a cute selfie—she’ll get to know you better, and you’ll likely get a reply. Her recent posts can also be great topics for an opening line, but memes and GIFs are also a great way to start talking if you can’t think of anything clever to say.

How to Talk to Girls on Snapchat

Another popular platform for informal communication is Snapchat. Get ready to take snazzy snapshots if you wish to interact with a girl here. First, start with a couple of casual shots and see how she responds. Then, as time goes by, you can start sending more images—just make sure they reflect your character. Commenting on her stories is also an excellent way to keep the conversation afloat. Before you know it, you’ll be talking about all sorts of things, on and off Snapchat.

How to Talk to Girls on Tinder

When you want to meet someone new, Tinder is the place to go. When you match a girl you like, the next step is to send her a message. Your first words should pertain to her photos or bio; it’s even better if you make it a question. When she gives you an answer, you can start chatting back and forth. When considering how to talk to girls online, you can take many approaches, but we always recommend honesty and respect, just like when talking in person.

And don’t listen to rumours that Tinder is just for casual hookups. You can get a girlfriend via Tender and have a successful relationship.

DID YOU KNOW? More than 30 million matches are made on Tinder each day95% of users personally meet within a week of matching. So your chances of meeting someone special are quite good.

What to Talk to Girls About

As previously mentioned, girls are just regular, ordinary people who like to talk about anything and everything. But if you don’t know a girl very well, some topics are more appropriate than others, such as those in the following list.

  • Culture: Art, music, books, etc.
  • Everyday life: Her surroundings—but not the weather
  • Hobbies: Her passion in life
  • Goals & ambitions: An outline of her future
  • Past experiences: Places she’s been
  • Family & friends: Important people in her life

Now that you know what to talk to a girl about, muster up the courage and start that long-awaited conversation.

DID YOU KNOW? Spending time with the person you like is the key to forming a relationship. The more time you spend with someone, the more likely you’ll make them fall in love with you. So why not prepare yourself to date?

What to Avoid

There are approaches and specific language you should avoid when talking to girls. How to speak to a girl not only includes the Dos but also the following Don’ts.

Don’t…

  • Ask personal questions: When you’ve just met someone, it’s understandable for them to want to keep their private life private—so respect that and don’t pry.
  • Be saucy: Not everyone likes this brash approach, as it may come off as offensive. So it’s best to steer clear of it.
  • Agree with everything she says: Even if you want to please her, you don’t need to agree with everything—show that you have your own opinion.
  • Say ‘I love you’: Whatever you do, don’t say these three (little?) words to someone you’ve just met; it will make you seem like a creep.

Whether you want to know how to talk to girls at parties or in a more private setting, all of the Don’ts listed above are hard NOs.

DID YOU KNOW? Women are said to have a heightened sense of smell. So if you don’t smell good, it’s best if you don’t approach that girl you like. If you have a foul odour, you’re sure to be less attractive in her eyes.

Conclusion

Our guide has aimed to give you the confidence and courage to approach and talk to a girl, especially the one you’re interested in. Whether you want to learn how to talk to a girl online or in person, you should now realise that talking and having a conversation with a girl is no big deal.

FAQ

How do you talk to a girl if you’re shy?

If you’re shy, don’t be afraid to admit it. You can simply go up to her and say something like, ‘I’m very shy but gathered the courage to come up and talk to you’. She’ll appreciate your honesty and won’t likely turn you down.

How do you start a conversation with a girl?

The best conversation starter is an introduction. Walk up to her and introduce yourself. She’ll, in turn, introduce herself, and then you can keep the conversation going.

How do you flirt?

Once you learn how to talk to girls, you can start with a joke and see how the girl responds. Then, you can give her a compliment or two and continue your light flirting.

ABOUT AUTHOR

I've loved writing since I can remember, and back in high school, I started loving psychology as well. So I majored in it while dabbling in spirituality and yoga on the side.

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