How to Slide Into Their DMs [10 Tried-And-True Methods]


Let’s say you have a person you like on social media and wonder how to slide into DMs and start chatting. Our guide explains how to get into someone’s DMs and develop an online conversation.

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‘Slide Into DMs’?

The ‘slide into DMs’ meaning includes sending a direct message to someone you’re interested in—a quick, sometimes flirty gesture to initiate a conversation with an unfamiliar yet intriguing person. So you should be careful whose DMs you are sliding into.

Sliding into someone’s DMs can be a great way to get things off the ground. But remember that DMs to someone you don’t personally know are unsolicited messages. So don’t be surprised if you don’t get a reply, even if you use the best way to slide in DMs—rejection is an online norm. And if someone doesn’t reply, don’t keep DMing them; they’re probably just not interested.

The Art of Sliding Into DMs

A direct message (DM) is the best way to establish online communication quickly. You probably exchange DMs with your friends daily. But when it comes to someone you like, you’re probably unsure how to start an online chat that could (hopefully) lead to something more.

Most social media platforms give the option of sending direct messages, but the most popular ones for DMing include Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. So it’s best if you choose one of these for sliding into your crush’s DMs.

DID YOU KNOW? Before DMs, there were PMs. Facebook and Yahoo were used in 2003 for sending a private message (PM). Fast-forward to 2013—DMs are used to refer to PMs.

How to Slide Into DMs: 10 Tried-And-True Methods

Now that you know what a DM means, you can use our following guide to smoothly transition from one DM to another until you meet the one you’ve had your eye on.

Send an Icebreaker

Make sure you ‘follow’ this person on social media so your DM won’t end up in message requests. Then, think of an icebreaker (perhaps taken from the internet), an excellent way to begin a chat because it typically requires answers. For example, Two Truths and a Lie is a fun, popular game that entails guessing which statement is the lie.

Bring Up Their Interests

If you’re unsure how to slide into someone’s DMs, learn more about them and their interests before sending your first message. When starting the conversation, you could mention their interests (hobbies, pets, restaurants), making you seem friendly, approachable, and genuinely interested in them.

Respond to Their Story

One of the easiest ways to get into someone’s DMs is by responding to their story. (Half of the work is already done for you.) What’s essential is that your message relates to the story they’ve posted—you’re then almost guaranteed to get their attention. Just make sure not to use one of the quick (emoji) reactions provided on Instagram; otherwise, it’s unlikely that you’ll get a response.

Mention Mutual Friends

Some of the best DM slides begin with mentioning an acquaintance or mutual friend/follower. By referring to someone you both know, the other feels better about chatting with you since they know you’re not a complete stranger, instantly making the situation less creepy.

Ask Questions

There’s no better way to let someone know you’re interested in them than by asking a question. You can ask them about anything, including their job, hobbies, pets. This shows that you have a genuine interest in them as a person, and you’re not just trying to hook up. But don’t pry into things that are too personal.

Send a Meme

When looking for smooth DM slides, consider sending a meme. The internet is swarming with memes; you’re sure to find one based on what you already know about them. If you can’t figure out what to send, search for an icebreaker GIF or meme—there are many with funny or cheesy pickup lines.

Compliment Them

Who doesn’t like a good compliment? So think of a good compliment before you hit ‘send’. You can be witty and romantic, but remember to be respectful. ‘You’re Hot’ compliments are not typically well-received, as it’s interpreted as merely flirting and not a very friendly gesture. So the best way to slide into DMs is to give them an honest compliment on their personality, skills, etc.

Mention Their Recent Post

If you’re out of ideas on what to say, please don’t just say ‘Hey’. Instead, say something about their latest post (tweet, photo) on social media. You can tell them what you think about their post or ask a follow-up question. You then have a topic of conversation, and you’re in control of the situation.

Ask for Their Number

The best sliding into DMs with examples include a number exchange—but you can also begin with that. You can say that you don’t like to use social media too much and that you’d prefer to text. If you’re more extroverted, you can send your number and say something like: ‘If you wanna chat, hit me up here’. But if you’re more introverted, you can ask for their number and see if they want to give you their number.

Ask Them Out

If you’re confident enough, you can begin by asking them out, saying something like: ‘You seem interesting. Do you want to grab a coffee or a drink?’ If they say ‘yes’, you can arrange that meeting immediately and won’t need to search for more smooth ways to slide into DMs.

DID YOU KNOW? Dating apps had become increasingly popular during the pandemic. So if you don’t want to be sliding into someone’s DMs, you can try one of the great free dating apps and sites available. Tinder, however, is the world’s most popular dating app, according to Tinder statistics and other data platforms.

Key Takeaways

Direct messages (DMs) are private exchanges between two people on social media platforms.
Sliding into someone’s DMs means sending a private message to someone you like.
There are many ways of sending a DM—all requiring you to be polite and respectful.
It’s essential to know who you’re DMing—different standards apply to guys and girls.
Emojis, multiple messages, generic greetings, and unsolicited photos are a big NO in DMs.

Sliding Into DMs: Guys vs Girls

There are many differences between guys and girls in real life, and it’s no different online. Typically, guys and girls need to take different DM approaches to ensure no wrong impressions.

♂️ For Guys

  • Make sure she’s single: Before DMing that girl you like, make sure she’s single; you don’t want to cause trouble in her relationship.
  • Don’t send unsolicited pics: You know which compromising pics we’re referring to. Don’t do it.
  • Be respectful: Even if you choose the best way to slide into DMs on Instagram, make it respectful. If you want to get a girlfriend, respectfulness is the way to go.
  • Know when to back off: If you see that a girl isn’t responding to your message, or you’re just getting Yes/No answers, it’s time for you to back off and move on.

♀️ For Girls

  • Make sure he knows who you are: When you’re DMing a guy for the first time, make sure to introduce yourself. You could even send a (cute) selfie to help him remember you.
  • Don’t double text: When you learn how to slide into a guy’s DMs, don’t overwhelm him by sending multiple DMs at once. Wait for him to respond and then continue the conversation.
  • Ask for his recommendation: Men (and women) like to feel needed. Being genuinely interested in someone’s opinion is one of the best ways to make someone fall in love with you. By asking for his help or recommendation, you’ll pique his interest.
  • Learn to accept rejection: Not all men will be interested in you. If someone rejects you, don’t be disappointed—simply move on and think about how to DM someone else. There’s plenty of fish in the sea.
DID YOU KNOW? Contrary to popular belief, dating apps are a great way to find love. All you need to do is create a profile, post some photos, write a catchy bio, and the matches will start rolling in.

Dos and Don’ts

We would be remiss if we didn’t outline the general Dos and Don’ts of DMing, which can make or break a conversation. Consider the following advice before sending that long-awaited first message.


  • Be yourself: Don’t pretend to be something you’re not. Even the smoothest DM slides won’t help once the person realises you’re not who you say you are.
  • Be polite: Regardless of what you decide to say, be polite. No one can get the wrong idea if you’re polite.
  • Be brief: No one wants to read a whole paragraph from someone they don’t know. So make sure your DM is as short as possible.
  • Back off: When someone explicitly (or implicitly) says they don’t want you to contact them, respect their wishes and leave them alone.


  • Be generic: If you want to know how to slide into DMs without being weird, don’t use generic conversation starters like ‘Hey’ or ‘Sup’.
  • Use emojis: Sending emojis as an initial message is not a good idea. So restrain from sending that winky face.
  • Send more than one message: It’s essential to re-emphasise that no one likes clinginess.
  • Offer or ask for anything: This includes money, a social security number, home address, or anything that might be dangerous in the wrong hands. (You won’t find any ‘how to slide into DMs’ with such examples in our guide. It’s strictly frowned upon.)
DID YOU KNOW? You’re permitted to send and receive 100 to 150 messages per day on Instagram. That’s why it’s essential to be mindful of who you’re DMing and not go beyond the limit of messages allowed so that you’re not banned from sending messages for the rest of the day.


Sliding into the DMs of that special someone might seem risky, even impossible at times. But if you follow our guidelines, you’ll know what to say when sliding into DMs, and your chances of success will improve significantly. And who knows what will happen from there?


What is a smooth way to slide into DMs?

One of the smoothest ways to slide into someone’s DM is by responding to the story they’ve posted. This is a seamless and almost full-proof way to spark their attention and get a response.

How do you slide in DMs without being creepy?

If you don’t want to seem creepy when you’re DMing someone for the first time, it’s a good idea to mention mutual friends/followers. Once they know you’re authentic and know someone familiar to them, they’ll be less inclined to think you’re just another creep.

How do you DM a girl who followed you?

A girl has followed you, so now you’re probably thinking about how to slide into DMs and see if there’s anything more to it. In such cases, it’s best to introduce yourself and bring up some things that she likes, which you can quickly get from her profile.


I've loved writing since I can remember, and back in high school, I started loving psychology as well. So I majored in it while dabbling in spirituality and yoga on the side.

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