Last Updated: January 17, 2022
Getting over a special someone can be a lengthy and challenging process, but it’s not impossible. All things come to an end. And, ultimately, each of us is bound to move on with our lives. We’ve created a detailed guide that should help you get over that significant other, including what you should and shouldn’t do and how not to lose hope if the process of getting over your love takes longer than expected.
How to Get Over Someone Who Doesn’t Love You Back
Following rejection, you may not know how to go on with your life and begin getting over someone. Fortunately, there are some tried-and-true strategies you can implement after you’ve had your heart broken. We’ve included 12 approaches to help you let go of the person you love and find happiness again.
A Step-By-Step Guide to Moving On
Follow these 12 steps and you’ll get one step closer to accepting reality and getting over that pesky unrequited love in your life:
1. Accept the Reality
The first step towards moving on with your life is acceptance. You need to accept the reality that the love you feel towards this person is unrequited. If you want to know how to get over someone you love, you must stop hoping that things will change and that the person will miraculously fall in love with you. When you admit and accept this, only then can you truly move on with your life.
2. Give Yourself Time to Grieve
Grief is an essential part of the process of getting over someone. So give yourself time to grieve. Allow yourself to feel everything and communicate your feelings to someone close to you—repressing your emotions can cause long-term damage.
3. Seek Support
When getting over someone, it’s vital to have a support system. Keep your family and friends close and reach out to them if you feel negative thoughts overcoming you. Remember that you don’t need to face this heartbreak alone. There are those in your life who have your best interest at heart and are willing to help.
4. Look Forward to the Future
One of the most important things to do when getting over heartbreak is to look to the future. Even though this is easier said than done, assuming a positive outlook for the future will help you get over the person easier and sooner. And even though you may not know how to let go of someone you love, dwelling on the past won’t do you any good. Don’t replay any moments you shared with the person; imagine a future without them. You could also create a vision board to help you envision your future or book a solo trip somewhere.
5. Step Out of Your Comfort Zone
Loving someone can become a habit, and habits are often hard to kick, but it’s crucial to do so. First, you need to step outside your comfort zone and begin new activities. If there’s something you’ve always wanted to do, now might be the best time to do it. Knowing how to move on from someone includes doing new things and meeting new people in the process—you never know what leads to finding love again.
6. Limit Social Media Use
Stalking someone on social media is never a good idea. You won’t help yourself if you’re constantly looking at their pictures, checking out their new posts, etc. Such obsessive behaviour will only keep you stuck in the past, and you won’t be able to meet someone else. In some cases, it’s best if you ‘unfollow’ them on social media or even delete their accounts from your friends’ list.
7. Get Rid of Reminders
The best way to get over someone is to get rid of everything that reminds you of them. You may, for example, cling to some small items that remind you of them or keep photographs of the two of you. Even if you’ve never gone on a date, there still may be something that reminds you of them—ensure you get rid of everything. And stay away from places that may trigger memories. You then can make room in your life for memories with a new person.
8. Add Structure to Your Days
If you wonder how to get over someone you never dated but still had a relationship with, consider structuring your days. You shouldn’t wallow in self-pity and only think about the person who no longer wants to be with you. Instead, it’s crucial to keep busy—at least in the first few weeks following the rejection. Then, you should make a detailed plan and stick to it, thereby not being tempted to reach out to them for a second chance.
9. Focus on Self-Care
How do I get over someone? First, you can focus on yourself when you move on. Second, remember to take care of your physical and emotional wellbeing. Third, it’s imperative to work on your self-esteem and self-development during this period by finding and doing activities that make you happy.
10. Cut Off Communication
You need to sever all ties to the person who is the cause of your pain. The question, how do you get over someone, also includes cutting off all forms of communication between the two of you, including phone calls, text messages, and especially casual encounters. Delete their phone number and stop going to places you know they frequent. This may sound harsh, but you need to find the strength to do these things if you want to get over them.
11. Learn Your Lessons
There are many life lessons to learn from, and being rejected by the person you love (although painful) can teach many lessons. Learning how to get over someone you never had can help you learn many things about yourself—especially about the nature of love and what you want from future relationships. It can also prepare you for future heartbreak and make getting over a breakup easier in the years to come.
12. Remember There Is Someone for Everyone
When we dwell on unrequited love, we often forget that there is more than one person out there for each of us. Even if you believed that they were the one for you, you could learn how to get over the love of your life and find love once again. You will love many times before you find the person with whom you’ll share your life, and each of these stories will be different. So try learning the intricacies of dating and give love another chance.
|DID YOU KNOW? Romantic rejection activates the areas of the brain that are responsible for pain. Love is similar to drug addiction, and being rejected by the person you love triggers withdrawal symptoms—you lose the ability to think, focus, and function.|
What Not to Do When Trying to Get Over Someone
We’ve listed the essential aspects of learning how to get over someone, but you also need to understand what not to do when getting over heartbreak, including the following five points.
1. Don’t Blame Yourself
Sometimes it’s easier to take the fall for everything that went wrong and assign the blame to yourself. You may even begin feeling unworthy or unlovable, but you need to stop this toxic practice and accept that sometimes two people aren’t meant to be together, and no one is to blame. The sooner you get this, the sooner you’ll be able to recover from the heartbreak.
2. Don’t Party Too Much
You’re probably trying to discover how to get over someone who doesn’t love you by partying. While it’s good to go out and socialise, excessive partying and drinking heavily is not the right way to go about it. These will only serve as distractions from the grieving process. If you don’t give yourself time to grieve your loss, you’ll never truly get over that person.
3. Don’t Date Just Anyone
When you’re hurting and feel rejected by the person you love, you may want to start dating immediately, mistakenly seeking validation of your desirability and attractive qualities. Regardless of whether you want to know how to get over a girl or a guy, starting to date right away is often a mistake. If you begin another relationship for the wrong reasons, it’s improbable that it will succeed. Be patient and wait until you’re in a good place emotionally. Once you’re ready, you can try some of the great dating sites you can use for free and see what’s out there.
4. Don’t Revenge Post
Even if you deleted the person’s accounts from all your social media, it’s likely someone in their circle can see what you post and relay the information. When thinking about how to move on from someone you love, you may feel compelled to revenge post, which is never a good idea. Trying to elicit jealousy or show them how well you’re doing without them in your life will not help you or your situation. Don’t do it.
5. Don’t Talk Badly About Them
Talking badly about the person that hurt you may cause you to feel (temporarily) better, but it won’t fix anything in the long run. By expressing negative thoughts, you only reinforce negative emotions and will end up feeling worse. And imagine yourself in their situation. If you ever break up with someone in the future or were in the process of ending a relationship, you wouldn’t want them to talk badly about you.
|DID YOU KNOW? Love can be found in the most unexpected places. A survey revealed that one in every 50 aeroplane travellers found their soulmates during a flight. So when wondering how to get over someone you can’t have, you should consider solo travel.|
Why Is It Difficult to Get Over Someone?
We’ve established that getting over the person you love is very difficult, but certain things can make it more difficult than usual.
When people have known each other for a long time and have had a friendly relationship before romantic feelings develop, sudden rejection can severely affect the person. After romanticising the other person for so long, it will probably take them longer to recover.
You can be confused over how to get over someone you see every day, especially if the person is your coworker or neighbour. If you see them regularly, your infatuation with them could linger, making it more difficult to move on.
You can’t choose who you fall for, but when looking for romantic interests, make sure they’re not someone you’ve known for years or in your immediate vicinity.
|DID YOU KNOW? For love to survive, it needs to be blind—at least for as long as it takes to reach the attachment stage. Blind love is the reason why the person we love seems perfect to us. So if you want to get over them, open your eyes and start noticing their imperfections.|
How Long Does It Take to Get Over Someone?
When you’re in the process of getting over that special one, forget about your imaginary timeline on how long it should take to get over them. Each person is unique and experiences heartbreak differently—so don’t compare yourself to others and rush the process.
The amount of time it takes to get over someone depends on many aspects. For example, how long have you known them, and how significant were they in your life? Therefore, even though we would like to know how to get over someone fast, we can’t calculate how much time we need to recover.
Some swear by the ‘21-day rule’ (referring to the 21-consecutive-day theory to make or break a habit), which suggests that you’ll begin to feel better three weeks after you break off all contact with the person. But this cannot be true for everyone. So take your time, and when you’re ready, everything will fall into place.
|DID YOU KNOW? After a relationship ends, people need approximately 11 weeks to get back on their feet, while it may take up to 18 months to recover after a failed marriage.|
We all wish to find the magic cure to help us understand how to get over someone you love deeply. But, sadly, there is no such antidote. You may be tired of hearing that time heals all wounds, but it does heal most of them. If you’re patient and resilient, you’ll get over the person who broke your heart, and you’ll be able to live, love, and laugh again.
It is possible to stop loving a person. Gradually, you can feel the love changing and fading away. But once you stop loving a person, you can move on and give your affection to someone new.
There’s no set timeline for getting over the person that meant so much to you. But research suggests that it takes three to eleven weeks to get over a person you once had strong feelings for.
If you want to know how to get over someone entirely, you need to accept the situation and cut off all contact with them. Then, start envisioning your future and set achievable goals for yourself. And one day, you’ll wake up and realise you have stopped loving them.